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10/01/97 - Good morning. Today is the day I eat some words. I was wrong about a basic physics point and my uncle has proven me incorrect... d'oh! I've had several people comment on the "wealth breeds beauty" thing. I guess the point I've learned is: There are many things that make a person attractive. Ok, I knew that. How about attraction is subjective. I knew that, too. How about... oh, forget about it. My friend's point was: a collection of well to do people, strange as it may be, seems to have a higher concentration of visually pleasing people than the population as a whole. I tried to say this in a less straightforward manner and couldn't. I guess we could collect empirical data to add some validity to the statement... maybe place cameras in rural Walmart and cameras in a Manhattan boutique and compare... ok, this is silly and I'm getting worse again. Did I mention I had a car drive straight at me in MY LANE this morning because they were inpatient waiting for traffic in their lane to move? At least I'm assuming that's why they pulled the bone headed stunt that sent me skidding to the shoulder.
10/02/97 - How long have I been writing this... for quite some time. For about a month now I craved a beer every night. I can feel my clothes getting smaller. But last night I actually didn't want one AND I had fun working late. There's something cool about loud music and low light that even makes my office seem comfortable almost to the fun stage. I have several momentary distractions, too. Like the foam globe I bounce off the wall above my Beatles calendar. I have pictures, drawings physics lessons, awards, ties and other work related (and non work related stuff) all over the walls. My terminal is covered with people's quotations. I have words from the likes of Longchenpa to my old boss Bill (an exceptionally good boss I want to add). Does anyone even know who Longchenpa is? Basically, all I know is he was a Tibetan Buddist who thought alot. Not a bad occupation.
10/03/97 - Ok, I was talking to my friend Steve last night. He's a lawyer so there's always something about which to argue. We picked a stupid something... Just like lawyers attract arguments I attract stupidity. Do you see where this is going? A lawyer plus Lee equals a stupid argument. Here, for your perusing pleasure is our argument's outline. Take one cliche: "Back to square one"; add one controversy "where's square two?"; mix in a lawyer and Lee and get a stupid argument. Since I'm writing this and Steve is 100 miles away I'm only going to state my point. It doesn't matter where square two is. Metaphorically the question is moot (I used "moot" last night because it's a lawyer word); No one need care or know where square (that's a neat phrase: "Know Where Square") two is because the metaphor stands w/o this knowledge/care, right? When I say: "Wow, today's entry sucks; I'd better go back to square one." you know exactly what I mean. You know, now that I think back, Steve might have been playing me for a fool. I've spent all this time seriously thinking about an inane subject. The next time we get in a real argument he'll be able to say "Yeah, but can we trust the opinion of a guy who seriously questioned the pertinence of square two?" He'd have a valid point.
10/06/97 - What I did at the State Fair or How to spend $19.50 in hell. My friend Sam emailed me last week... "Hey Lee, I have to take my sister to the State Fair; do you want to go?" So I'm thinking... Wow, I've never been to the State Fair; this could be fun... I'll go. The parking area is packed with pickups, Firebirds and low riders. Of course x-ray goggles are required to see through the oatmeal-like dust cloud that hung around everything. I feel lucky to have been shrouded in dust for my first 5 minutes; that was 5 fewer minutes that my eyes might have beheld the sight of greasy people dressed in less than many beach combers wear. But I digress... $14 ticket + $2.50 cotton candy + $2 lemonade + $1 VA Wildlife Foundation donation = $19.50. The midway was packed and annoying. The rides, while possibly fun, were packed and rumored unsafe by both my mother and my roommate. Highlights (yes, it wasn't 100% bad): Inga the high diver; the exhibit halls; the lemonade; ok, I'm out of highlights. My advice to potential Fair goers: Ask Mary B. to show you a picture of her first place quilt then take the kids to the VA Museum.
10/07/97 - I've been telling my friends I'm a genius for some time now... at last, I have empirical proof: 104% on an accounting quiz. True, my accounting knowledge should have probably only scored me a 90, but my teacher decided to give us answer totals at the bottom of every page (page 1 has 12 trues and 8 falses... stuff like that). Using my superior test taking skills and the information given to me I kicked butt. I guess I'll go ahead and state: I answered nothing incorrectly. I have a high bar to clear on the midterm. Ok, onto less fun stuff. My house has a basement. The washer and dryer are there. I left my shirt in the basement for several days after washing it. Now it smells like basement... actually, the shirt smell more like burlap... ug. Diet Dr Pepper tastes more like regular Dr Pepper. I finally get that.
10/08/97 - Pants. Fun. Those two words are rarely used together... unless... ok, I won't go there. Let's just say I've had fun with pants in a G rated manner these last 24 hours. Here's what I've found. I normally step into the right leg, then the left. Reversing this order is very difficult. I'm not a highly coordinated person and going left first pushes my body beyond its ability to balance. Why is this so? I'm sure it relates back to right handedness but I'm not sure how. Ok, Putting on pants with wet feet is difficult because the wetness makes your feet grab the pant fabric and you get all twisted and then you fall and bonk your head on something hard... I guess. Anyway, placing socks on your feet is equally difficult when your feet are wet, but since you normally sit while socking (right?) it's a much safer activity. So, socking before panting, when your feet are wet, might save your skull because even wet socked feet slide into pants more easily than wet feet. And you never get loose threads caught between your toes while socked. Geez, I forgot Fran's book again today. Oh, I forgot to mention your feet don't dry while panting so if you don't sock first you'll have to pant and sock with wet feet... double badness.
10/09/97 - Last night was one of those strange weekday nights that should have been a weekend... It really is too bad everyone had to go to work on a perfect Denny's morning like this. Actually, it really is too bad anyone has to do anything before like 9:30. If I could've slept until 9:30 I would have gotten almost 8 hours of sleep. I'm not exactly certain if that's true or not. Come to think of it, I remember leaving the Agents of Good Roots show sometime around 1am... that might be about right. Well, did I learn anything by staying out on the town WAY later than I should have? Legend makes fruity beers. Going out costs money ($40 bucks last night, but I ended up buying a couple beers for friends... wait a second, that was almost against my will... hmmm). Well, fun was had. I guess that's the important part. I learned my life is not boring or sedate or cheap, but I like it this way.
10/10/97 - My job is contributing to my fatness. I sit all day. I don't move. When I go home I'm worn out. Why? I don't know. I've spent the last 6 months in a lazy period and all my clothes are suddenly tight. I can't stay motivated forever. Hopefully I'm getting back into a groove with running. My ankle keeps pestering me with a crappy kind of pain. I think I stepped on a rock wrong yesterday so my heel hurts today. I have to leave town this afternoon so I can't afford my normal lunchtime run... see, it's hard to fit everything into everyday. Running in the morning is no good for me because my body isn't ready to move at that early hour. I really need to knuckle down and do something good for me on a regular basis and stop bitching about difficulties.
10/14/97 - Here I am back from another wedding that made me cry. My friends Jon and Kim wrote their own vows. I'm sure you can see how overwhelming it was to hear Kim read the words she'd written in a voice barely cohesive through the tears. Jon was Jon. The bachelor party was fun. We broke things. We stumbled. We ate Gus Burgers at 3am in crowded diner. We passed out with the TV on in a hotel room about the time the sun rose. Saturday didn't feel too good until about midafternoon while we sat under a tree drinking soda and talking about this and that. The wedding was sunday. The reception was a fun filled, action packed friend fest highlighted by dance at all skill levels (I know because, as a low skilled dancer, I see everyone moving much more fluidly than I and am envious). Well, I'm sure Jon and Kim are having fun now sitting in the sun enjoying each other's company and looking forward to the rest of their lives. Boy, was that campy or what? I still hope it's true.
10/15/97 - I saw a traffic accident last night. My sister and I were driving to dinner. A van attempted a left turn from the right lane and swipped a car... oops. No one was hurt and everyone was civil. The hitter took full responsibility and the hittee wasn't angry. That's a good traffic accident. What else is good? Another friend is marrying tonight. Tonight is the legal ceremony. His wife (can I say that now?) is Buddist so they are having a legal ceremony tonight and a Buddist Ceremony this weekend. Interesting, isn't it? I love life's differences. I also love arguing but I'm not very good. I got in an argument last week just because it was there. I said life would be much more peaceful if everyone were the same. I believe this but I also believe a peaceful homogenous life would suck. I guess we trade peace for interest. Do you think it's worthwhile?
10/16/97 - In that second before my brains reason engine kicked into gear I saw eyes staring at me from within my backpack. Then two and two came together and I saw it was just Fiona Apple. Strange album cover. Speraking of gears it's time to change them. I'm flinching right now. I expect my phone to ring and keep ringing all day long. I expect to have so much work that I won't accomplish anything. I have buckets and buckets of stuff to do. Ahhhhhh! So How do I handle this dilemma? I make ways to avaoid the phone. Do I turn the ringer off? Do I just leave my office for an empty computer elsewhere? Do I just ignore the ringer? I'm without a good idea... which isn't too unusual. I wonder how Jon and Kim are doing on that beach?
10/17/97 - I've had this thought before; let's see if I can write it. From the time I first had memories until the time I graduated from college time seemed to move differently than it does now. When I was younger the past seemed to move away from me. Now the past seems to pile up at my feet. I think I can pin it down to one simple thing. I was changing faster than my surroundings for the first part of my life. Now I'm stable (well, my personality isn't really changing) and my surroundings are changing more quickly than I. I don't know if I like this. Is there something I can do about it? I don't know. My mom gave me a bookmark saying something like "It's never too late to become what you want to be." George Elliot (she's a she; wrote The Mill on the Floss among other things) said that. I guess her idea is a challenge for me.
10/20/97 - Marathoning. I respect the heck out of people who run 26.2 miles without stopping. I saw many of them yesterday. I passed many of them yesterday as I participated in the marathon relay. I ran on a team of 4; each of us ran 6.55 miles for a total distance travelled of 26.2 miles. There was Mike, then me, then Brent and finally Jamie. I just met these guys yesterday but was placed on the team by a mutual friend, Alison. Rain fell in cold cup fulls. The wind blew as if jetsoned from a frigid jet engine... ok, so it wasn't quite that bad but I did see some idiot smokers puffing and wheezing near the finish line. Speaking from my hypocritical high spot I look down those killing themselves with the yukko burning crap sticks hanging from their lips... In fact, I toast their demise with a tequila shot chased by a beer and followed by a 2 cheese burger Extra Value meal, supersized. But I'm not driving myself home.
10/21/97 - I learned more about Title 9 yesterday than I ever wanted to know. The factoid that made me scream inside is, I was told, UR is considering dropping the men's swim team in order to comply with Title 9 regulations. Basically, if I have this correct, schools have to spend equally and draw participation equally across genders. I find this insanely stupid. I'll admit my reaction is based completely on an inner pain. My feelings knot at the idea that something as passionate as a sport is being regulated. People are visceral and sports are visceral so the tie is tight. I've experienced first hand all the emotions of competition; Remember the Wide World of Sports' theme? It's completely true. People, in many cases, live and die by their sports. Should this kind of passion be regulated? I am angst ridden. I know a solution better than dropping a team exists. I'd like to think that a passion greater than that possessed by the sluggish regulators I've pictured in my mind will solve this problem.
10/22/97 - Anger is a strange thing. It comes on quickly and if you don't catch it something stupid will blow through your mouth. What gets me angry is someone unjustly accusing me of stupidity. I suffer fools about as well (probably better) than the next guy but don't accuse me of being when it's actually you missing a piece of the puzzle. I speak, once again, for the rostrum of hypocracy. It's almost impossible not to judge before having a full picture; how do you know when your picture is complete? I don't think you can. This, I guess, is why my anger is bugging me. How can I be angry at an honest mistake? I guess I can be angry because I AM angry. Anger is a human response and I'm human so we'll just end this here. I'm going to get coffee.
10/23/97 - Yesterday was one of those great days wherein nothing (NOTHING) goes well. I was a lake on which the algae of idiocy grew thick (do you remember what I said yesterday? I quickly became stupid). But today is a new day and a new start. I have a large amount of faith in myself and my intelligence (which, sometimes, proves overinflated and I suffer, but that's beside the point); I'll bounce back. Bounce?! Thank you, I believe I will. I'm starting notice the tremors my 20oz 7-11 coffee with 3 creamers and 7 sugars is sending through my head. I've consumed about 1.5ozs. Baseball: I watched some last night. I find myself rooting for both teams even though, when asked, I say I'm for the Fish. My uncle is for Cleveland because he's and Orioles fan. If Cleveland wins the Os look better. I choose the Fish because I'm a Braves fan. Game 5 tonight; I hope I'll see some.
10/24/97 - Today is such a strange day I forgot to write my journal. I've had free time. I've spent it looking through a guitar parts catalog, eating doughnuts and thinking how quickly some things change. Take backpack wearing for instance. When I was younger the cool way to carry a backpack was over one shoulder. All the college people I see are double straping now. Double strapping was something only done when you were riding a bike and the really cool people didn't even do that. I've been know to double strap but my default carrying method is still the tried and true single strap on the right shoulder (I've refused to carry a brief case so I ferry my CDs and planner in the same backpack I used in college). Silly, isn't it, how conformist college age people are? But I remember the urgency with which I considered stupid things like how I carried my backpack. The concern was real; the possibility of ridicule seemed real. I guess everything means something to someone and, unless you can honestly see what another person is thinking, the best you can do is let people be themselves (even when they're just being someone else).
10/27/97 - Yesterday may be my favorite day of the year. Yesterday we were actually given time; how often does that happen? Sometimes you're given stuff, but time is not something you can got to Walmart and buy cheaply... In fact, you can't go go anywhere and buy it even at an outrageous price. Well, is that true? If I were to board a rocket ship and travel close to the speed of light... no, I have that backwards. I have to put everything else (but me) on the rocket ship then, when the ship returns, the stuff would've experienced less time then I did. So we could get free time at the expense of everything else but then we'd be older than we should (compared to everything else) so is it really worth it? I like yesterday because the hour is without extreme cost... it's banked in April then cashed in October. People born between April and October get it for free. And what did I do with my hour? Accounting homework.
10/28/97 - A friend suggested I write about paper clips and, having seen it done, I say I can do it better; I have a book entitled The Evolution of Useful Things in which the origin of paper clips is discussed... somewhat boring. I contend I'm like a paper clip... perhaps less boring. My friend suggested I say something about the rough paper clips that grip paper better than standard paper clips. Well, like a rough paper clip, I'm tenacious. I grip paper better than... no, that's not right. I got an A+ on my accounting midterm; I did better than most of the paper clips. I'm usually found at or near a desk and so are gripper paper clips. I'm not found at every desk and neither are gripper clips. I stay up late at night to watch bands like Carbon Leaf play Plan 9 music on special mondays. While grippers don't really see music, had I had some with me they'd have been there too. See, the similarities are remarkable.
10/29/97 - I'm not an overtly religious person but, occasionally, things happen that make me think. I drove into work this morning as I always do and I passed a man in a UR Uniform walking on the road. I stopped and offered him a ride because I was going the same place he was. Normally I don't stop and offer people rides. I don't even remember debating the issue; I just did it. When he got in the car he thanked me and then he said he had to thank God. His leg had been bothering him and the day he really needed a ride I gave him one. I guess this could be a fortunate coincident or perhaps God is up there playing chess with us. Either way is scary... perhaps I'd best not think about it and just start working; It's not like I don't have bunches to do. Ignoring is bliss.
10/30/97 - Ten Thirty. That's when I went to bed last night... It's also today's date. My friend CD told me a funny story yesterday. He has a booming voice and I told him he's wasting his voice programming computers. He said he used to go with his friends to Cubs games (he lived in Chicago) and sit around drinking beer and doing the things guys do at ball games but, invariably, some mother would walk into the fray to crush the perfect mood by asking him to laugh "My child thinks you have the most wonderful laugh... it reminds him/her of Santa Claus; would you laugh again for us?" How does a guy recover from this? While it is a complimentary question it's not what you want to hear while drinking beer with your buds at a ball game. Unless, maybe, the mother is Christie Brinkley.