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03/01/99 - 26 Days. I saw Alice in Wonderland on NBC last night. Boring, disconnected yet strangely curious. It seemed to be a collection of vignettes featuring famous folk separated by a british girl changing size. I fell asleep after hearing Gene Wilder sing about soup. When i was a kid I had a T-shirt featuring a frog sing about chicken soup. I guess they sing about soup on commercials. My Mom gave Kara and I some lentil chili yesterday... that's soup. I could write a soup haiku:
Grey day cold rain falls
Hot soup warms from inside out
Not good bath water
Still, soup isn't standard art. Wait! Warhol painted Campbell's soup cans. Blind Melon and the Stones released albums with Soup as or in the title. Ok, quick poll: Email me if you like fish eggs? I ate them for dinner friday night. But now I have to go to class.
03/02/99 - I took an Accounting course about 500 days ago. I was so bored by the whole thing. I spent an hour per week doing a whimpy butted job of the homework. I attended all the classes, aced the exam and left with an A+. Now I'm taking a Civil War class. I can't stress how much I'm enjoying this experience and how much time I'm throwing at the class. In the past two days alone I've spent 8 hours writing a paper I've only partially completed. I turned a draft into my professor who completely (and helpfully, I should add) tore it apart. I'd bet I'm barely grasping a B... and I, again, can't stress the struggle it's taken me to hold this grade. Why is it I can effortlessly conquor Accounting about which I don't give a rats tail bone but am struggling to do that which I enjoy? After reading the comments Dr. K wrote about my paper I have a clue. My writing about history is as a paleontologist would write about dinosaurs: "It obvious from these tracks leading down to the water that dinosaurs went there." That's great if you're studying dinosaurs because no one saw them but people saw Sherman at Shiloh. No one doubts he was there... why did he do what he did? That's what a historian has to answer... that's how I have to learn to look at this stuff. This is fun... hopefully my grades will improve.
03/03/99 - Yesterday afternoon Kara and I had a great time together cleaning the gutters. I climbed up on the roof, scooped crud from the gutters and tossed it on the ground so she sould rake it into piles. Then I climbed down. End of story. Not very exciting. Well, from on the roof I could see all the way to the street. I saw my neighbor come home... actually I saw neighbors on both sides come home. It was a fantastic sight. Their cars came up the street then parked in their drive ways. They got out of their cars, made some comment about me being on the roof. We laughed. They went inside their house and I continued tossing scooped crud to Kara. Fantastic. Amazing. The english language lacks superlatives enough. Finally, I climbed back to the ground, removed my rubber gloves puts the tools back in their places and went inside for dinner. Then I worked on a history paper then I watched TV then I went to bed then I slept then I dreamt I was back in the second grade writing terribly childish sentences. Hasta la pasta.
03/05/99 -
A piece of my Shiloh paper:
In Savannah Grant and Buell received news of the battle and headed
down river toward Pittsburg Landing. The records note an exchange leading, after the battle, to a
dispute between Grant and Wallace. As Grant's boat passes Crumps Landing Grant sends word that
Wallace's division is needed. Wallace assumes he was told simply to prepare his troops for march and
awaits written orders which don't arrive until Grant sends them hours later, curious and angry at
Wallace's absence on the battlefield. By this time the Confederates captured part of Wallace's
planned route diverting his division on a much longer march. The communication breakdown coupled with
the route difficulties kept Wallace from the first day's fighting. The records note Halleck gets word
Grant thought had Wallace gotten his division to the field on the 6th Union casualties could have been
substantially reduced. This assertion isn't reasonable. The Union army was not fighting a clear
battle plan on the 6th; They were reacting to a surprise Confederate hammering. Most reports suggest
Union officers were simply fighting to hold ground without a cohesive plan for doing so. The Union
line was driven back at all points; deploying Wallace's division could not have stopped an advance
on this wide a front. Had Wallace made it to the field he might have strengthened the Union
resistance in a small area but many of his men would then have been first day casualties. It's also
unreasonable to assume Wallace or any officer could grasp clearly the battle's picture during the
first day's confusion. Therefore best deploying his troops would have been next to impossible or at
least reduced to a guessing game. In shifting blame to Wallace Grant may have sought to reduce his
apparent responsibility for the first day's fiasco when an opportunity arose.
03/08/99 - Monday morning brings... not too much. I'm sitting here with my back to a brewing pot of coffee. Which has finished and is good. I spent the weekend with old friends... a wonderful time was truly had. Our group got a tour of the Capitol (the big domed building in DC) from a Senator's assistant. We got to go behind the velvet ropes to secret areas. We saw the insides of committee rooms and walked beside the Senatorial subway. The most amazing thing was the coffee bar. Juan Valdez is not fictional. He works for the Senate serving coffee grown fresh by his donkey in an artificial room under the west wing. Highly scientific fiber optics guid sunshine from the equator directly to a space far below ground in DC wear no climate control is required to keep the temperature at exactly that of a South American mountain slope. The donkey (a direct descendant of Mr Ed) works hard to cultivate his faux hillside raising just enough coffee for Senators and their staff. Tax dollars hard at work... To shut me up they'll be sending a 1/2 pound a week down here. Plus I got to ride the donkey.
03/09/99 - Richmond forecast is for snow... anywhere from 1 to 5 inches (depending on who's talking). I look forward to seeing something on the ground. Ok, what am I going to do with my share? Well, I'll probably not spend it all in one place. I'm thinking about starting a mail order business shipping snow to warmer areas. Just think... sitting there in Miami how many people have said "Wow, I'd like box of snow. But with this silly heat I can't count on it ever falling from the sky. What can I do?" Well, they can call me and I'll ship them some of my nice, clean Richmond snow. Did you ever read East of Eden? Stellar book but that's not why I bring it up. I forget the guys name (he forgives James Dean at the end) but he decides to ship Lettuce east on the train... snow to Miami would work as well. So I'm considering taking up ice sculpture. I'll build a life size Statue of Liberty along whatever body of water contains it... I should know that factoid... but I don't. Maybe I'll just construct a statute. How about the Statute of Limitations. I think that would look good in snow, don't you? Off to enjoy the weather. Is it the East River? (Note: Encyclopedia Brittanica's web site says it's in the Upper New York Bay... ok.)
03/10/99 - A requirement of UR's Civil War history class is a paper comparing and contrasting several avenues to learn about the Civil War. The movie Glory is one avenue. I watched it for the second time last night. The movie's theme is growth. While it may appear to be a movie about the Civil War the war serves as the framework in which Shaw, Forbes, Rawlins, Surls, Tripp and others grow. In the scene before the attack of Fort Wagner Tripp realizes he and the men of the 54th Mass. have grown; He states that the former slaves recently called animals (some probably believing it at the time) are men. These words represent both Tripp's personal growth from unconstrained rage to purpose and the same growth in the unit as a whole. Of course this growth is all for naught as each main character is shot and killed in the attack... 4 of them at the same time as they round a corner to face a cannon I doubt they knew was there. Boom. Sometimes life isn't fair... maybe that should be the movies theme. Regardless, movies give a sense of tension to the war that can be conveyed through books or museums. That's what the paper will say... hopefully more, too.
03/11/99 - 16 Days. Boot Licker... oops, Boot Liquor. See, when the boots came off last night first a scent then an idea emerged. Hard Apple Cider turns to vinegar if bacteria gets into the stuff. What in boots turns to vinegar? The scent is unmistakeable... the only question is: How do you keep the bacteria out? My Dad suspects the makers of Scotch have discovered this secret. His metaphor goes something this: take dirty old smell shoes, after having worn them to 3 or 4 basketball games and a few fishing trips in muddy shallow water, place them in a black plastic bag under direct summer sunshine for a month, drain the liquid and enjoy your newly malted Scotch. I'm figuring Boot Liquor (TM) will be a less refined process. In a single day's time you can malt a shot or so just by going about your business. It'll taste like damp feet but who cares? It's homemade!
03/12/99 - This is a tale of no power. One in which computers don't work and CD players don't work and people are stranded away from their offices without means to receive timely phone calls or send faxes. Did I mention Ray ran out of gas on the way to work yesterday? He had to walk 3 miles round-trip to retrieve his gas can... without his jacket in the 30 degree morning air. But that's not the point. A power outage brought this place to it's knees yesterday. People running amok hiding in corners drooling unable to comprehend what force would bring such terrible plagues upon their fair office. I just wanted to be dismissed. But I was sent to the accounts payable office and chained to a computer in the farest corner of the basement where neither air nor water exists... only the strangely hot sun streaming in through a lattice of steam pipes and wires. Somehow I managed to survive (the kind AP staff took pity and brought me oxygen and Naya). Now, the power problem resolved I'm back in my office breathing and drinking normally. The drool puddles are dry and the workers are merrily working away this week's last day... do they realize Y2k is but 294 days away? Does Ray have enough gas to make it home?
03/15/99 - This weekend was spent preparing for my class... which takes an amazing amount of time. Saturday I went to the Petersburg National Battlefield Park... cool as all get out. The Crater (Union troops from the 48th PA Infantry, dug a tunnel under Confederate works and blew the place into a big sandbox) is smaller than I thought it would be. The works are closer than I would have guessed. At their nearest point Confederates stood a few hundred yards from Union Cannons (and vice versa). My thought was: why didn't someone bring in a lobbing mortar and end the war earlier? Oh, well, I'd guess there was a good reason. Sunday I read about half the book that's due on wednesday. Cold Mountain is a travel tale not unlike The Lord of the Rings except pretty different. There's love for one thing. My favorite passage was one in which Inman meets this lady whose lived on a mountain for 26 years. Inman says what if you die up here alone? Well, she says, it's either the worms or the birds that will get me. I plan to go up high and let the Ravens carry pieces of me away. The image is both sick and clever at the same time. That was my weekend. Now, off to class.
03/16/99 - Kara's birthday! 11 Days... Mom was married 4 days after her birthday. Ok, driving to work this morning I listened to music... Life in the Fastlane by the Eagles. I turned onto Patterson Ave and sat at the stoplight thinking how, as a kid, I thought it was Life in the Bat Plane. The idea is grand... living in the air with Batman fighting crime... but it seems silly now that a band would have the same cool ideas as a 9 year old boy. As I sat thinking I noticed a plane soaring parallel to the stoplight cable. What time do you think that pilot got up? I got up at 6:11. I was going to do the dishes and make breakfast but Kara must have gotten up bunches earlier... and she didn't want oatmeal. So I sat around and talk to Emelie while Kara got herself ready. Then we ate breakfast together. What did the pilot do? Do pilots board planes like I get into a car? Especially small planes... they're like small cars. Is there a place for the pilot's coffee cup? Could my car be seen from their plane?
03/17/99 - 10 Days... 2 Papers 1 Test. Emelie rolled in poop again this morning. I was preparing to exit the house for work when I smelled the smell. After 20 seconds of debilitating dry heaves I panic and called Kara. Work clothes came off, shorts went on... into the bathtub we went. More dry heaves followed by a wet heave and the heaves were gone. The it was scrub poop. A big mass... ok, I'll spare you more details. Let's talk fun stuff. I friend David went to Africa recently. I looked at his pictures this morning. The tour ends abruptly when he heads to Mombassa... I'll send him an email and see if the tour does actually go beyond that point. Check it: Africa by David. I should probably assemble something like this for Richmond. I figure the city is pretty interesting; people just don't open their eyes wide enough. In class today we discuss Cold Mountain which I finally finished. I don't think he's dead... there are 8 plates at the table. (Note: I'm slow. He's dead but Ada did have a daughter... now I count 8 people for the 8 plates.)
03/18/99 - Where am I? It's thursday and Kara and I were out all night at Help Wanted's St Patty's Day show in DC... which started 90 minutes late due to a drama crew next door. Let it be known the Metro Cafe is not on my list of places with intelligent (or perhaps nice) management... stupid or mean... it stinks so many people fall into the grey area between these words. I've been there. Hey, in my shower the cold water knob has been switched with the shower on/shower off knob. The change is minor... one piece has a blue mark and the other has no mark. Well, did you know there isn't enough headroom in a Jetta for a 6 foot man to finish a 1.5 liter bottle of water? This will likely never be important information. It's so trival it will flee my mind before too long... like that last thing... what was it? Oooo, good Zen Calendar page today: Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone. Lastly, a haiku:
drive white car to work
sit at brown fake wood table
married in nine days
03/19/99 - I'm about written out of words. I spent last night groggily finishing a paper about bunches of people killing each other by a river in Tennessee. I know the paper isn't good but the combination of a current task surplus and procrastination left a simple choice... turn in a bad paper and stress about it or turn in a bad paper and don't stress about it. I chose the latter... why worry? My friend Sam has another phrase for it but I won't go into that here. Sam's philosophy is something like roll with the punches but I've watched him and he does more than just react. If his attitude could be bottled and distributed the world would be a more pleasant place. But that's neither here nor there. How was that for a segue? Too bad there's nowhere to go. And that said I'll do some quick math... 8 days. Another haiku?
Chilling morning wind
tired man blown to office
how did he get here
03/22/99 - One hand contains the same number of fingers as the there are days remaining before my wedding. What other numbers are there? Distance: 135 miles. Grades: 1 Paper, 1 Test. Meals: 15. Well, Paper #2 has been drafted. It stands at 1900 words and goes something like this: Anything short of everything is incomplete. That's like a 300% reduction... If I could invent a compression routine like that I'd be rich... unless someone stole it from me... which would suck... like spraining your ankle a week before your wedding. Did I mention Kara fell down the steps at the Jefferson Hotel on friday? The very same steps (rumor has it) that were the basis for the steps at Terra down which Scarlet O'Hara fell. Once again Kara proves herself in possession of a unique sense of style. I'm just the haiku writer she loves (what a lucky man I am).
This minute arrives
past and future make me smile
happy purposeless
03/23/99 - I know I'm busy now. Forgetting to write is not frequent occurence. Also infrequent; Playing a Help Wanted CD in my player. I hear the music all the time... but mostly live. Way back in 1996 we assembled a collection called The Flying Lumber Incident... I'm on song 2. Not exactly a picture of the band today but still pretty good considering how lousy we were at keeping time back then. Wow! Scott's solo is pretty amazing. He's playing 2 solos on top of each other giving it a real Phishy feeling. Ok, 4 days until the wedding. The paper is almost done and the test is in my backpack (still unopened). I studied for about 15 minutes last night. Concentration is coming in spurts and that was studying outside the spurt... unfortunate. I know the test questions; they're difficult but not impossible. Well, I really don't plan on continuing the haiku thing forever, but...
No frost covered ground
green grass brightens campus
more beer cans in lake
03/24/99 - While my journal page will be inactive for a few days (Back running on April 6) check out the Help Wanted Blabber Page.
Last work day before the wedding. Paper and test are done... Dr. K will receive them in about 40 minutes. I still haven't quite mastered testing taking when the questions are handed out prior to the test. I should gather all the facts before hand and simply arrange them during the limited test time. What I do is read the question say "I know this" then read the next one and so on. When I open the test my first reaction is "ok, I know this... but where do I start?" See I should have answered that question already. Did I mention I get married on saturday? I think so. Oh boy. I wouldn't be so excited except I'm marrying a great woman... THE BEST! I know all you married folks think you got the best person out there but you're not me. What am I saying? I guess it's all relative. And on staurday I get a new relative... actually, a whole family's worth. Yippee! So, with no further words... see y'all when I get back wearing my new ring...
one two three four five
can't stop the progress of time
last bachelor haiku