Projection
January 21, 1999

14

We had yet another OB appointment today. Everything is still going well. No signs that the baby will be here early (we're still two weeks from the due date). We were joking with everyone at the doctor's office this morning, since now we're weekly regulars. Our doctor, who's a bit more serious than those who work for her, even seemed to be in a cheery mood.

Jean is still sleeping through the night without interruption. The movements in her tummy have gotten more dramatic, but not painful at all. Jean's particularly happy with "the pointy part" that manifests itself many times each day on her left side. She's even said she'll miss the tiny projection when our baby's made the big move.

I forget whether I mentioned that we found the original rocker we wanted, through another store in the same chain as the store here in Richmond (the store here in Richmond told us even the warehouse was out of stock). The rocker is being shipped from Atlanta to the Richmond store, and should be here in three weeks (which should be just about right, since Jean won't want to sit for at least a week). The store that found the chair is the one that got the sale. It's going to be fun to walk into the Richmond store and pick up the chair they said didn't exist.

Each night after we climb into bed, I read the day's entry from The Pregnancy Journal, then a bit from Tolkien's The Hobbit. Just last night we finished the chapter "Riddles in the Dark." Bilbo's got the Ring. What's fun is that Bumpy moves around as I'm reading, then becomes very active after I've finished reading and we're quiet. I'm going to continue reading the entire Lord of the Rings saga to her after she's born. It's darker than a toddler can appreciate, but I think an infant can handle it.

I had a conversation with a friend today, and in the middle of the conversation I realized that while I've been planning on the diapers and the late-night feedings, I really haven't spent any time thinking about the fun I'll be having with my daughter. It's not going to be all work. Eventually it'll be lots of play. My brother's told me over and over again how much fun it is, but somehow I've avoided projecting the fun times up ahead. It's not that I'm focusing on bad things, I've just tried to live with a realistic idea of how life will be.

I think the reason I've not thought about all the fun that's ahead is that I don't want to project about the kind of person my daughter will be. I want to learn who she is as she learns how to tell me. Certainly I'll be shaping her in ways, but there's no way I could guess what she'll be like. So I haven't tried to guess.

My daughter will be here soon, and I'm happy to wait to find out just who this person will be.

The clouds coated the sky today. I think there's a storm moving in on Saturday, and the temperatures are due to reach into the high sixties. I hope it's cooler by the time the baby arrives – it's too early for Winter to end.

listening: Crash (Dave Matthews Band); Walking a Changing Line (Ian Matthews); Dulcinea (Toad the Wet Sprocket)

reading: The Hobbit (Bumpy's Bedtime Book)


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© 1999 Kevin J.T. Creamer