Suction Bolts
December 17, 1998

49

Success! I've just today averted what could have been a big problem. You see, I'm not particularly handy. Back in college, when I was in the theatre all the time, I was always hanging around the techies, but never a part of them. Every now and then I would try, but within half an hour someone would mercifully release me.

I remember one particular time. I don't know which show it was, but they were painting black flats (fabric glued and stapled to a wooden frame which is then painted to look like a solid wall) that were going to sit on each side of the stage so the audience couldn't see backstage. By this point, the fabric was attached and all that needed to be done was to paint the whole thing black. Not too hard. Not even like there were lines I needed to stay within. But after just a while, someone came by and took over. To this day I don't know what I was doing wrong.

The techies would have fun with people like me. The only time they got me was the day they'd asked me to call the local hardware store to order a bunch of thingys that they needed to make the set for the next show. I had the list and was ready to read it verbatim. I had dialed the number and the phone was ringing when Maury (king of the techies) picked up another extension of the line and quickly told me that they also needed ten three-quarter inch suction bolts, then hung up.

Now I'd known that these people would play tricks on the hapless, but as I was running down my list of stuff, I debated whether this was a joke or not. If it weren't, I was going to be embarrassed because I didn't ask for something because I didn't know what it was. So after listing all the hardware we needed, the gentleman at the other end of the line asked if there were anything else. I hesitated.

"Do you have any three-quarter inch suction bolts?"

"Excuse me?"

"Never mind, that's it. Thank you." Click. They'd gotten me.

With this background in mind, you can imagine my happiness when I discovered that the crib has to be assembled. Jean is normally the handyman around the house, but it's not quite her season for that kind of thing. The baby furniture store is delivering the crib and two bureaus this coming Monday afternoon at a price of fifty dollars. For twenty dollars more they would assemble all furniture, but when we made the purchase we correctly judged that money is going to get tighter and tighter.

Just today we found out that all of Jean's benefit deductions for February and March are going to be deducted in advance from her January paycheck. It's something to do with short term disability, but the net effect is a bare-bones New Year. Twenty dollars is no longer two pizzas: it's groceries.

But all my pals at work have been telling me I'm crazy not to let the delivery people do the assembly. Natolyn just yesterday matter-of-factly told me to call Jean and see if we could get the baby store to do the assembly. Jean and I talked about it, and she spoke with another guy at her office who also recommended the store do the assembly.

So when I come home Monday afternoon to let the delivery people in, they'll now be putting the crib together. We have averted weeks of little crib pieces sitting scattered on the carpet in baby's room (a growing fear was that Bumpy would arrive before I'd gotten the thing together). I might be getting back to the office later than I'd originally planned, but when I do go back our baby room furniture will be done.

At dinner tonight Jean realized that this is then our last weekend without baby furniture in the house. Somehow we find ourselves at another small milestone as we move closer and closer to meeting our daughter.

It was another day in the office, so I didn't notice the weather until after work. Jean picked me up tonight just after six thirty, and I could see the stars above the pines as soon as I left Maryland Hall.

watching: Elmo Saves Christmas

listening: Home for Christmas (Amy Grant); Christmas (Michael W. Smith)


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© 1998 Kevin J.T. Creamer